"You've changed..."

Written by Lorenzo Colombo - Co-founder of Soulful Soundwaves

Changing, one step at a time, is what makes us more conscious, more satisfied, stronger and more adaptable. It’s a very important part in a path towards a better life.

However, it’s not easy and many people out there are willing to change for the better but just don’t know how to do it.

The first thing we must do is understand why things happen. Some people think things are the way they are and there is no particular reason for that, it’s just the way it is. If there is no reason for things to be, there is no reason for a change. And if there is no reason for a change, things are always going to be the same - including our life. A constant circle of events repeating themselves to the point where we create our own safe routine, often leaving us with no purpose.

We need to change in order to evolve into a better, healthier, more satisfied and more compassionate living being. But how can we make it happen? There is no manual, there are no instructions and we struggle to make time for everything we want to do.

The answer to this question is we need to let go. The bigger the part we let go, the bigger the change is going to be. This is the hard part, because if you don’t know how to do it you are simply stuck. You have the feeling there is something out there for you, but you don’t know how to reach it.

I can only suggest a practice that works for me, maybe it’s going to work for you as well. We need to find the answers to two questions; what is it we need to let go of and how to do it. The funny part is that we need to first understand the how if we want to find out the what.

We have to start asking ourselves questions to find out the answers. How do you feel? Why? What created this feeling in the first place? Why? We need to start digging deeper and deeper into the meaning of things, be our own psychologist, and we don’t have to stop until we are completely stripped back to our raw selves. We are looking at ourselves without masks, defences, excuses and we know we have found what we are looking for when we feel really uncomfortable. Once we think about what has triggered our reaction, we realise how silly, low and miserable that feeling was in the first place. 

Finding that reason is going to make you understand how meaningless it is to hold on to something so stupid. And that’s why you let it go. As soon as you do that, you feel relieved and calmer. You will also feel a bit stronger because in that moment you realise you have just dismantled what created your frustration. 

If we keep on doing this little exercise we are going to find out that as soon as you feel a certain way, whether it be insecure, scared, anxious or embarrassed to name a few, you are going to think "wait, stop for a second. Why did this just happen? What is the real cause to my frustration?